Satan's Spawn

I believe that Woodpeckers are direct descendants of Satan himself. No other species in the animal kingdom has such an annoying and loud method of finding food.

I don't know if you're familiar with the sound of an automatic rifle (specifically the M249), but if you aren't, go find a Woodpecker and listen. It's the same sound.

One morning at 0600 I received my wake-up call from Woody himself. I normally get up before 6:00am, but on the few glorious mornings that I don't (thank you Vicky), I like to sleep as much as I can before Vicky demands my presence. Woody decided that the trees in my front yard are too tempting to leave alone and he could not wait for breakfast. Now that it is summer, I leave my windows open. Woody decided to search for breakfast one morning at 0600 directly outside my window. While I realize that it is totally unlikely for somebody to be firing an automatic rifle in my front yard, it did not change the instant surge in my blood pressure and heart rate upon hearing Woody search for breakfast. Platoon Daddy says to me "that does sounds a lot like a SAW (M249)". I replied "No, it sounds exactly like a SAW". I ran outside thinking that Woody was pounding on my front porch or some other part of my home. No such luck. The little bastard was no where to be found. Whenever I hear him in the mornings, I run outside to see if I can find him. He could easily be an alarm clock. He doesn't start a minute past 6:00am. Platoon Daddy suspects he is feasting on a big dead tree in our front yard woods. He's probably right. I can't believe how LOUD that Woodpecker is. Thank you Woody for keeping me on my toes out in rural USA.

I've never shot a bird. I do have hunting Labradors, so I'm familiar with what happens to a duck after he greets a shot-gun. I'm wondering what happens to a Woodpecker after he greets a 9mm. I'll find that little bastard one of these mornings and send him back to Satan. I'm certain the red-head is a clear indicator of Satan's spawn. No, I don't think all red-heads are Satan's spawn, but I I know a few that could be a cousin.